Fucking on Jupiter

Lex. Twenty-three. Oregon. Sagittarius. Trans boy. Musician. Queer. Web Designer. Entrepreneur.

 

Sometimes I don’t understand how I can have so much pain and hurt, feel like the world is collapsing around me, and somehow still manage to get through each day.

I am tired of being sad and tired.

I am tired of being sad and tired.

I’m thinking that it might actually be possible for things to work out sometimes. Definitely not everything and maybe not the way you imagined. But sometimes, when you least expected it, life surprises you.

Susane Colasanti (via psych-facts)

I am trying to believe this.

I feel lonely

And sad. I have craved beer all day and keep considering it. I’ve realized (with the help of my therapist) that I am not addicted but have some dependency on it.

I’m not craving the buzz, just the beer itself. Similar to when I have soda cravings but would I feel guilty? Would I feel disappointed? What would it feel like to have my counter go back down to zero?

I’m not sure.

I’ve spent much of the day in solitude. I’ve done a lot of reflecting, creating, and being yet I still feel so hollow. That part of me that I have away to someone else that will never be the same again. My heart hurts and I’ve almost cried a lot today. I am unsure how to feel better. Time or whatever.

It’s good to spend time with myself, but I also crave companionship. Love. Feeling wanted. Feeling safe.

I know that only I can make myself whole but that doesn’t mean I don’t want love. I do, so much of it.

But I’m alone. Loving alone in the dark, holding onto a blanket that will leave me too.

I wish I didn’t love you like this.

It hurts too much.

Played 3,357 times

There is a hollow in me now.

When you’re dreaming with a broken heart,
then waking us is the hardest part.
You roll out of bed and down on your knees,
and for a moment you can hardly breathe.

Unknown (via lover-notta-fighter)

Especially when the dreams tell you things you wish you didn’t know